Natural Hair Trend Amoung Celebrities: My thoughts - May 31, 2013

[ Tracee Ellis Ross - natural hair icon from the beginning ]

I don't know about all the other millions of females who have gone natural and I definitely can't speak for them, but I chose to embrace my natural hair texture as a symbol of change. I stopped relaxing my hair because I wanted to embrace my true self, save time and money and I fell in love with my curls. I know that there are many reasons for someone to want to change their hair or go natural. I know that most females feel more confident nowadays going natural because there is such a huge following and immense support. There are multiple natural hair communities! I also know how girls with naturally, long hair always want to show it off and even prove that they (black females) can have long hair; I once did it too.

However, I don't agree with people suddenly taking off their masks, aka exposing their natural hair, just because everyone else is doing so. It has become a trend for black and mixed celebrities to prove that they have naturally, long hair underneath the wigs and weaves. They claim that they are "natural girls" but being a true natural girl is a lifestyle not a hairstyle. Celebrities have been posting pictures of their natural hair and booking interviews with natural hair blogs but then wear wigs or weaves 11 months of the year. What are you hiding and why? If you have waist length, naturally curly hair, why do you choose shoulder length, silky straight strands??? There are so many celebrities that are rocking their natural curls, like Janelle Monae, Tracee Ellis Ross, Jordin Sparks, Solange, Alicia Keys and more. They haven't suddenly become less popular or lost their jobs because they wear their natural hair. If anything, they have become role models for us! Celebrities change their hair ALL the time. A hairstyle or texture doesn't make you less of a person. If you are black or mixed and have naturally, straight hair, then cool but if not, who are you trying to be?

People always say, straight hair, wigs and weaves are easier to deal with and style. What's easier than a wash and go curly afro?! It took me less than half an hour to do my hair this morning! I wet my hair in the shower, applied leave-in conditioner, finger combed my curls, applied gel and oil, and I was out the door. No overload of products or tools needed. When my hair was relaxed, I would have to wash my hair, relax it, apply treatment, blowdry and straighten it, etc. With wigs or weaves, you have to braid your real hair underneath and wash it and rebraid it every few weeks so that's still alot of work! Time, money and lots of different products and tools needed. Many celebrities have also said, "I want to protect my natural from all the heat damage and styling done on set". If you wore your hair natural, you wouldn't NEED to apply heat or even style it! Wash and go's are the easiest and fastest style! I've always said that curly hair looks best when it's just doing it's messy, wild and free thang.
Natural hair has just a huge trend among celebrities that doesn't seem very genuine. That urks me! It all seems fake. If you don't wear your hair natural all the time then you clearly don't love it enough to show the world and you're obviously not living the natural hair lifestyle of embracing all of you, so don't claim to be! Ameriie is no more beautiful than Elle Varner because of her hair texture. We, as a society and as a black community, have to care about other things and put emphasis on more important things like talent and education. Sigh! Thanks for reading, y'all :-)

I Need Moisture: How to tell if your hair is moisturized - May 29, 2013

 

[ My hair after a wash ]

Before I went natural, I considered the Black Hair Long Hair blog to be my bible! It helped make the transitioning process so much easier. After I got into the routine of understanding my own hair, I kind of forgot about hair blogs. But now that my hair has become pretty long (ignoring the shrinkage), I've started to look to a few blogs for inspiration. I came across a little blog entry about how to tell if your hair was properly moisturized. Now, moisturized does not mean soaking wet. Your hair can be moisturized dry or wet. Here are some facts on what moisturized hair feels/looks like and what you can do to make sure your curls are nice and happy!

I'm sure we all know what dry hair feels like, like super dry. If your hair makes crackly or crunchy sounds when you touch it, your hair is in desperate need of moisture!!! Healthy hair should not sound or feel crinkly like tissue paper, it should be soft to the touch. Healthy, moisturized hair will also shine naturally but applying oil can contribute to this as well. As long as your strands aren't dull or lacklustre, you're in the clear! Your hair should also be flexible and strong! Your hair should not break or weaken while washing or styling. If it does, you need to look at your hair regime and get a proper deep conditioning treatment into your routine.
 

Here are some tips on how to get and maintain moisture in your hair:
1. Invest in a moisturizing cream, either water-based or a rich creme depending on what your hair likes and apply that all over your hair, as often as daily or every few days

2. Apply a natural oil the night before you wash your hair and on a daily basis, massaging it into your scalp and to your ends

3. Limit the stress you put on your curls, like harsh products, heat, pulling and tugging, rough combing, hair accessories that have metal components etc.

4. WRAP IT UP! You must wrap your hair at night. This is super important to keeping moisture in your hair and reducing breakage and damage

At a Curl Standstill: Settling those weird feelings that your hair isn't growing - May 27, 2013

 

[ Sigh... ]

In all honesty, I thought my Afro would be way bigger by my 6 month mark. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally happy with the progress and current state of my hair, I just simply thought it would be bigger!

My fellow natural friend once mentioned that there was this girl whose hair grew tremendously (we're talking 4 inches in a month) because she applied various oils to it daily. I knew and know that natural oils help our hair & scalp stay healthy, shiny and encourage growth. I started to think that maybe I wasn't using enough oil lately and then I realized that was exactly the problem. In the last month, I can say that I haven't been applying oil all over my hair every second night like I used to! For some reason, I had become lazy. Sure, I had been experimenting with different hairstyles but mostly using water and gel and only using my sweet almond oil to lightly coat my hair afterwards. Before, I had been saturating my fro in the oil and massaging my head every second day, at night. When I was doing this, I noticed a difference in the texture of my hair; it had started out dry after my big chop and it had become less dry, more soft and more shiny.

The most important thing about my discovery is that I noticed what I stopped doing! This is usually the problem when people don't document their journeys (with anything, not just hair). You don't know what worked or didn't work, what helped or didn't help etc. You don't remember how you got that wicked fauxhawk style. By documenting my hair journey, I was able to notice a change in my hair and an imaginary "standstill". See, it's not REALLY a standstill in hair growth, I just noticed a difference in my texture and curl pattern. Now that I am aware of what I stopped doing which was working, I can work towards putting that part back into my routine.

In the last month or so, I also noticed more tangles in my hair but only on ONE side! Though I discovered that finger combing my curls when they're saturated with my leave-in conditioner is best for me, I realized that I need I take better care in detangling. I suggest all naturalistas to take the time to analyze your hair every few months to find and understand certain problems your hair may be experiencing. Almost like a hair check-up hahaha. Check your edges, feel the texture, look for knots and note the locations. And by no means am I saying start an elaborate hair blog (I'm too much eh?)but jotting down some notes of your routine, what products you use, what works and doesn't work, and how to achieve your favourite hairstyles will make it easier to pinpoint the cause of your curl crises.

Black and Kinky Speaks: Another introduction of my brand new hair blog! - May 19, 2013

[ I'm honest, I'm hilarious, I'm crazy about my crazy hair! ]

 

I'm totally excited to finally have an active blog that looks good!!! With me, it's usually about simplicity and creativity; a blogging service that's easy to use and allows me to do my thang. I found that in blogger.com, the blogging service provided by google. If you're ever looking to start a blog, skip the complications & fanciness of Tumbler, Wordpress and the others and try out blogger.com. You won't be disappointed!

I started documenting my hair journey in January of this year because I thought my story was unique and that it would help fellow females gain the interest, confidence and knowledge to embrace themselves and go natural. I knew a blog was the best medium for me because I'm a writer but I also have a knack for visuals. Plus, I knew there were already tons of successful bloggers and blogs out there and that I too could successfully join this endless community of bloggers.

How am I going to stand out? I'm going to be a successful blogger because I plan to provide interesting, informative and entertaining blog entries for my readers and showcase my personality through it all. I'm not "reporting" on natural hair care or weighing my page with facts or stats. Originally, I'm a poet so I am very descriptive, colourful, honest and straight forward. Though I tend to write ALOT, I remain concise and to the point. I'm also not shy and will include plenty of pictures on my blog because I know visually showing the different stages of my hair journey will help people understand the writing that accompanies them. With this blog, I don't necessarily need readers or followers, though the feedback would be helpful. As a lifelong writer, I started writing to deal with my emotions. This is the same. I started writing about my hair to help me express myself throughout this new, exciting, confusing, foreign hair journey and it always makes me feel better to write things down. So, if this blog sits on the internet collecting inter-dust, or doesn't do anything for anyone except me, then it's successful because it helped ONE person through their hair journey (WOOT WOOT).

My favourite part about this blog is that it's been on my to-do list for years now. I've always wanted to blog about something! I'm glad my hair has given me the chance to check this task off my list. Some of the things that will be covered in my blog are (but not limited to) the following: the stages of my hair cut, lessons I've learned, products I use, hairstyles I've tried, hair stereotypes, things and people who have helped me along the way. These entries will represent the more personal side of this journey. I will also share my intelligent thoughts about the (false) perceptions of curly/kinky hair, the stereotypes that aren't true, and mostly how I am still learning to love my hair as apart of me.

I'm also very close to hitting my 6 month mark since my big chop, which happens to be in my birthday month so there will definitely be some celebrating! And I almost want to have a hair blog launch party but we'll see! ;)

Hair Love From Your Love: Appreciation & acceptance from your partner - May 18, 2013

 

[ Photo 1: My boyfriend & I, hours after I completed the Big Chop  - January 2013
Photo 2: My hair in a fauxhawk style - May 2013 ]

 I have to say, I don't care what people say but my boyfriend's opinion matters SO much to me only because his thoughts & opinions of me are always so outstandingly positive & up-lifting. When I cut my hair, I loved it yes, but I had to get used to it. My boyfriend loved my short, one-inch Afro of kinky-curly spirals from day one and continues to love my hair as it grows. That means a lot to me. I hear so many stories of people who want to embrace change but their partner is against it, simply doesn't support it, expresses negative thoughts about it or doesn't care enough to have an opinion. I'm very blessed to have a boyfriend who supported me from the moment I decided to cut my hair, was and is genuinely curious about my hair, its texture and everything about it, continues to compliment me whenever I try a new hairstyle and most importantly, loves me just the same as before. I'm truly blessed that he values what's on the inside instead of my physical appearance. In the beginning, I sometimes felt weird standing beside a girl with super long or silky straight hair but he's made me feel so beautiful in my skin and within myself, that I don't have any thoughts or doubts about my beauty or short hair anymore.

 

To a non-black person, black hair may seem pretty foreign. But nobody should feel ashamed about not knowing much about someone's culture, let alone hair texture. I had to educate my boyfriend about the different textures of African-American hair, the important factors of taking care of curly hair, my routines...the list goes on. But he accepted it all and even had many questions of his own about my hair. It's been such a process and progress for us, travelling on this hair journey TOGETHER and the incredible bond we have with everything makes it easier to go through this specific journey.

My boyfriend always has sweet things to say about my hair! I'm very grateful that I don't have to dig for compliments, wonder what he's thinking or bare negative comments. People will always have something negative (not necessarily mean but not positive) to say and I've heard plenty of opinions since I've cut my hair. People ask me why I did it, if I like it, they say that they liked me better with longer hair; opinions that I never really asked for but had to listen to anyway. People stare in general but when I cut my hair and had a tiny Afro, you best believe they were staring even more! I only really got positive feedback from my parents, other family members, close friends and my boyfriend. But in the end, only their opinions matter. This has been a crazy hair journey of ups and downs, frustration, dehydration (my hair lol), impatience, and he's made it all so much better and easier.

Just a few days ago, he said, "I almost don't want you to grow your Afro out because I really like the length that it's at right now. It shows off your face so much, I can really see the features of your beautiful face and I love the different styles you wear. I love your curls, how there's always random defined curls amongst the craziness and it's so soft, like really soft." That almost made me cry; I mean the man went on a happy tirade about my hair! It felt so good and reassured me that he will be here no matter what I do to my hair and support me through whatever decision I make. This is apparent because through something so simple, like cutting my hair, he has showed me his undying love, respect, appreciation and acceptance of me, who am I am and of course, my hair.

Hat hair...the good kind: Adding some spice to your hair life - May 12, 2013

[ Rocking a fitted cap! ]

Curly girls CAN wear hats too! Now, this is either a shock or surprise to you or you already knew that. But it's true! Curly girls can totally wear a variety of hats. Why not? Hats are a great way to accessorize your hair or work with a not-so-amazing hair day! Plus, there isn't a rule stating that hats are strictly for straight-haired girls. Trust me, there's going to times where you need to accessorize your hair because of a) a "bad" hair day, b) unruly, wind-blown curls, c) that in between, awkward can't-do-anything-with-my-hair length, etc. I see hats as a wonderful way to simply highlight great texture or unique hairstyles and protect your hair from the elements like sun damage. Here, we educate you on what to look for when finding hats to ensure your curls are still the life of the hat party hehehe.

So, we all know that sleeping on a satin pillow or wrapping your hair in a silk scarf is best for our hair because those materials retain moisture, right? Now, we're not saying all your hats have to be silk or satin (I don't even know if those exist!), but just like there are good materials for your hair, there are materials that aren't so great for your hair.

I'm sure you've heard this many times before that 100% cotton is the best material for all types of skin, hair etc. This is your number one choice for hat material. If you can find hats also lined with silk or satin or if you're a creative soul and want to add a lining to your new hats, all the better! There are honestly not too many materials that are good for your hair, let alone curly hair so I suggest you stick to 100% cotton. Materials you want to avoid are acrylics, anything mostly acrylic/nylon/rayon, anything with straw, anything that's hard, anything other than cotton or silk/satin. Now, you're thinking that narrows down your hat choices to barely anything but it really doesn't! There are so many hats that are made from 100% cotton! So many styles and colours! I own 3 hats so far (wow big number); a pale pink crochet beret, a black fedora and a black and white winter hat with pompoms! They are all cotton and haven't caused havoc or ravage on my curls. I typically don't wear hats but it's nice to have the option when a random rain storm or super high winds decide to hit the city...or when a bad hair day strikes.

There are tons of options for different styles of hats so here's some advice when looking for particular styles. Fedoras, though very cute, chic, androgynous and sophisticated, are tricky because they are anti-Afro! They're best if you're planning to wear it all day with your outfits so you can avoid hat hair or a flattened Afro which is so not cool! I also find that snap backs, "fitted" caps or as everyone used to call them, baseball caps, looks best with Afros of various sizes and with curly hair when it gets longer. It's a super cute and sporty look! Also, adjustable tabs are best for when your Afro/curly hair continues to grow! Berets or beanie hats are also a favourite because you can hide your frizz ball in the back and just style your bangs and leave them out of the hat. This look is quick and easy, too.

Hats are versatile and a great accessory for all hair types. There are also a million other hair accessories if hats aren't your style. Don't forget about headbands, hair clips, barrettes, colourful bobby pins and more! I'm not hat crazy, but I realized that I need to really embrace all of those hair accessories as my hair continues to grow! I really cherish my basic black bobby pins and use them for most of my hairstyles but am definitely open to try coloured bobby pins for a pop of colour! I also have a black fabric belt and some floral fabric that I could transform into bow headbands! Creativity at its best! Scarfs are also lovely hair accessory ideas!

Some popular hair accessories nowadays include various sized bows in different colours and patterns! There are pretty, girly headbands made out of tulle, satin, flowers and adorned with rhinestones and beads. Also, vintage-y, old fashioned inspired hair pieces are on trend right now. You can never go wrong with feathers, shine and colour!

Remember to use the resources around you to spruce up your hair. Use your creativity, start a DIY project and take inspiration from blogs, photos and other stylish, natural girls!

Watch Your (Curls) Form: Understanding the changes in curls - May 2, 2013

[ Hair with front section pinned back ]

 

I fell in love with my curls...again! And for good reason! After doing one of my wash and go routines, my curls were wonderfully defined and looked extremely SOFT and touchable! Oh, how I fell hard! I had been trying for the past few months to get to the point where my hair was more curls than frizz, and I'm finally here!!! I received so many compliments as well, which boosted my confidence and happiness too.

It's important to understand hair as an ever-changing entity, because that's exactly what it is! Think of when you were born. Every baby is born either hairless or with a little bit of hair. That's a fact of life. For the first years of your life, your hair may be straight, wavy, curly, kinky, brown, black, blonde, red or a mixture of any of those. But as you grow older & pass the different milestone stages of your life like, ages 6, 12, 19, your hair may go through many different changes! People born with straight hair may find themselves with a head of bouncy curls by middle school or people born with blonde hair may be brunette by high school! These same hair changes happen when girls transition from relaxed to natural. When I first cut my hair, it was a frizzy mess! Of course, I didn't realize that my curls were lacking moisture & that I also needed a trim (the list goes on), but the texture of my hair was completely different than it is now. Currently, my hair is softer and frizz is less prominent! The thing is, I didn't really do anything different per say. I guess my hair just needed time to simply change!

Yesterday, I went about the same "refreshing" routine I'd been going through for the past few months. However, I had only been getting amazing curl definition in the front and along my edges. To refresh my curls, I usually wet my hair by using my spray bottle or cupping water in my hands in the shower. I make sure that my hair's really wet but not soaking. This is a great way to reactivate any product that's already in your hair. I let my wet curls form for a few minutes or so and then go through my curls with oil, rich cream and/or gel. This time, I used my gel. I smoothed the gel all over my hair, focussing on the front sections, then scrunched a bit afterwards and ran my hands through to separate the curls. I then topped it off with some of my sweet almond oil. I then let it air dry. I didn't even really notice that my curls had formed so nicely until I saw a picture! I honestly felt so much joy, witnessing the soft and defined curls that I could now achieve with minimal effort!

It took about 5 months for my curls to change their form but I am so happy that I remained patient throughout the dry, rough, frizzy stages! It's amazing encouragement to wait and see how my hair will look in a few months time! My story is also a reminder that your hair will most likely change it's course a few times through your journey of becoming a natural. Be patient and allow your hair to do its thing!

[ My curls after my wash & go routine ]



It Takes Two (Curls) To Tangle: The importance of combing your curls - April 26, 2013

[ You can see where I've added gel (at the front) and where my curls are less defined (towards the back) ]

I learned the extreme importance of combing your curls the hard way. Just recently, I did a lazy wash and go routine. This consists of washing my hair with conditioner, applying a rinse-out conditioner, combing my curls and then styling my hair with gel. I usually do this to save time. The last time, however, I didn't comb my hair. I didn't think it would be a big deal but was I wrong! I think I forgot for a split second that my hair was of the kinky-curly texture, which usually tangles faster. I didn't notice any real difference until about a week later.

At the current moment, I have a few clumps in my hair where my curls are literally matted together! This next point is very important because it will save you from split ends, hair loss and head pain! You can seriously DAMAGE your hair by not detangling it so you NEED to comb it out. It is also nearly impossible to detangle curls when they are dry so read carefully to make sure you do it properly. You should make sure your hair is damp and saturated with a creamy leave-in conditioner before you comb through it. Leave the conditioner in for a few minutes and then start detangling your hair with a wide tooth comb or your fingers. Tackle your hair section by section. Start from the ends and work your way up to the roots.

Though hair oils are typically great, rich butter creams and/or water based creams are also good for softening the strands and separating the curls. Curls naturally love sticking together. That's their job! They clump together with surrounding curls to stay defined. Once they unravel or separate, frizz builds and they become less defined. But if they aren't combed out, they won't get stretched properly to clump together smoothly. They will clump together amongst tangled curls and frizz. This is what happened to my hair. Though my curls are still defined right now, there are parts where it's just a tangled, clumped mess!

I really learned the lesson of taking the time to carefully detangle my curls after this spectacle. It really saves time and energy in the long run and will save the health of your hair as well!

Beauty redefined: Acceptance of my natural hair from fellow naturalistas & non-naturals - April 26, 2013

[ Sides pinned back with bobby pins ]

I think the biggest reaction from people when I cut my hair was the shock that I had actually cut my hair! Most people have a notion that girls with long hair don't want to or will never cut their hair. I also think they think we're crazy for wanting to cut our hair short. But my decision to cut my hair was never just about cutting my hair or the length of the cut. I made a decision to go natural and embrace my natural texture and it just so happened that I needed to cut off 12 inches to get to my curly new growth. So, it was never really a decision to cut my hair, more like a decision to do whatever I had to do to embrace my natural curls.

A little side note: I feel blessed in a way that my face shape works with any hair style, cut and length. I think the fact that I look good with any hairstyle really helps. After I cut my hair to my shoulders back in grade 10, I realized that I actually looked better with shorter hair. My heart shaped face was more pronounced and my eyes and lips were of more focus. Long hair kind of had me hiding! It's important to do what you need to do with your hair so that you, your personality and your style are represented properly!

It's extremely empowering for me to have fellow natural girls complimenting me about my choice to go natural, my curls and/or how I wear my hair. I've even inspired some of them with my hair styles, routines and tricks. I'm also really glad that nowadays, it's almost common for girls to be going through the transitioning or natural hair care process because now I have a handful of friends who either did the big chop, have been natural for a few years or even sell natural hair products (see: Nu'khara on Facebook or email Nukhara.1@gmail.com for details)! It's an amazing community to be apart of because these girls have made changes all around, not just with their hair. They've embraced what it means to be truly natural and have applied this to many aspects of their lives, like health and beauty.

Though it's great to have natural girls support me, it's even more special to have non-natural girls support me! This came as such a surprise! I have so many friends with perms and weaves and they all said I was either super crazy or super brave for wanting to cut my hair. But when I cut my hair, they also said I looked amazing and they wished they had the guts to cut their own hair or leave the weaves behind. One of my goals is to share my knowledge and try to encourage those non-naturals to take the leap and become natural! This journey has really taught me so much about natural beauty and the power of refraining from altering your true self. It's helped me see myself as ME without any enhancements. It's also saved me so much money, effort, space and time. As one person, the best thing I can do is try to share my experiences with these girls and show them that natural texture and a shorter length is just as beautiful as long, straight hair.

Don't Touch My Hair: Boundaries and respect when it comes to hair - April 21, 2013

Don't Touch My Hair: Boundaries and respect when it comes to hair - April 21, 13

Ask before you touch something if it's not yours! This may sound like simple common courtesy but you'd be surprised at how many people emulate the actions of a little kid. You know how little kids are! They want to touch EVERYTHING, they rarely ask and they have zero regard for the word "no". Sounds harsh but it's true.

Just like any other thing or object, hair is the possession and property of whoever's head it's on! Just like a person wouldn't go up to a complete stranger and randomly touch their arm, leg or face, people shouldn't randomly touch your hair. Though I haven't experienced this act of ignorance in awhile, I went through torture when I was younger. People from all walks of life always assumed my long, chemically relaxed hair was weave or extensions, so they'd take it upon themselves to touch it, pull on it, examine it without my permission or ask after the fact. I don't know what gave them the idea that this was acceptable but it seemed to be normal. The most common incident during my high school years would be someone touching, grabbing or pulling my hair and asking of it was "real" or "all mine". None of that concerns another individual other than me! It's my head, my hair and if I so happen to wear weave or extensions, that's MY issue! I would become so furious. It was so annoying and happened so often that the odd times when my own mother would touch my hair, I'd get upset with her and yell, "don't touch my hair!!!" She would look at me as if I was crazy. But those experiences, of acquaintances and even friends being that close to you and touching what is known to be your "crown", can scar you. You become super protective of your hair/head and you don't want ANYONE touching it.

The main thing about someone's hair is that it's connected to their head. A lot of people are protective of their heads, and this is normal. People need to respect other people's bodies, body parts, personal space and feelings. If you are curious about someone, be it their hair, shoes etc., simply ask their permission if you want to touch whatever it is. This isn't an exhibit and we are not zoo animals. I mean, I don't know what's better or worse; people staring at my kinky-curly Afro or people asking to touch it but I much rather be apart of the decision to let them or not let them get close to me or touch me. But people rarely put themselves in other people's shoes. What if I came over and just yanked on your hair? I'm sure there would be a fight or at least an argument. That's plain disrespectful. I don't want strangers, people I don't know or like or even some of my friends randomly touching me. I don't know where your hands have been in the last hour and would prefer that my clean hair stay clean. I also don't know what your feeling or searching for. Hair is hair, whether it's straight, curly, long, short, real or not real.

The bottom line is that there needs to be a level of respect when it comes to someone's personal property; this includes their hair. Think about how the other person will feel about you touching them and also think about how you'd feel of someone did the same thing to you, your kids, your dog etc. As for me, I can't promise that I'll let you touch my hair even if you do ask but I'd much more appreciate you and consider the idea a tad longer if you take the time to ask ME if you can touch ME.

TLC: tending, loving and caring for your hair: Massages & conversations - April 13, 2013

One of my "secrets" to caring for my hair isn't really a secret! It's actually a known fact! Massaging your head/hair stimulates hair growth! Now, now, don't spend hours massaging your head hoping to see a major difference and don't dig your fingers into your head thinking the harder, the better. Here are my tips to giving your hair the TLC it needs to be happy!

I rarely get stressed anymore (I really owe it all to my boyfriend, SMART goals and organized to-do lists). But after a long day of being out and about, with flashing lights, noisy traffic, impossible public transit and earphones in your ears, your head can get tender or tight. I noticed this and thought back to something I once read. Massaging your head by applying gentle yet firm pressure can release this "head" stress and the heat you're creating by rubbing your hair follicles can stimulate hair growth. So, I began to massage my head every few days.

I now have a routine where I massage some of my sweet almond oil into my hair and scalp. I do this every few days, right before bed and it only takes a couple of minutes. Oil is one of the essentials that our curly hair needs to be healthy, strong and shiny! I usually start at the edges and front and smooth a generous amount of oil through my strands. I apply more oil, section by section, all over my head. I then massage my head all over, focussing on every part but applying concentrated yet gentle pressure on the tender spots. I always feel so amazing after this moment with my hair, as weird as that may sound.

Another thing that I do is talk to my hair. I am not ashamed to admit that! Especially since I've spent so long neglecting and abusing my hair's natural texture and state, it's about time I show it some real love. I honestly give my hair pep talks. I truly feel like you need to build a real relationship with your hair, just like with your body. You need to love and show love to your whole body. In the end, to each their own! I'm doing what works for my hair and that includes massages and conversations, among other things!

Welcome to Black and Kinky!

 

Welcome to Black and Kinky!

 

I would like to personally welcome you all to my new hair blog! I bet you didn't think "black and kinky" would be about hair eh? Food for thought: the term kinky is also a description for curly hair textures. Someone with kinky-curly hair has really, really tight spiral curls (see above photo). Now that that's cleared up, who is Black and Kinky? ME of course! This is somewhat of an alter ego for me and it simply represents who I am: I'm black and I have kinky-curly hair!

So, I'm sure you all know what it's like to cut your hair, right? Well, not all of you know what it's like to cut a total of 12 inches off your hair AND to go from waist length, silky straight strands to a one inch afro of extremely kinky-curly hair. Alot of people asked me why I would do such a thing. Simple: I like and embrace change. I decided to finally embrace the natural hair texture I was born with. However, the main reason for cutting my hair was because many things changed in my life in the last year; my unofficial aunt and hairdresser of 8 years died on me, a family member had surgery, school was overwhelming...a bunch of stress. Cutting my hair was really symbolic for me as a way to really start over and start living my life in a way I know my aunt would be proud of. I started thinking and living more positively. I let go of stress and negativity, I set goals and I really started to enjoy life. I'm also a full grown adult now. I finish college in 4 months, I'm in a perfect relationship and I'm truly happy.

A motto I live by is "Real Love = Self Love = Happiness". Love showed me how to be happy and find the positives in every aspect of my life. It also taught me the value of loving someone for who they are on the inside, not based on appearance. Now, it's not that I'm an ugly troll now that I have short hair, but I definitely look different! Though many people keeping saying they liked me with longer hair, my boyfriend never fails to remind me everyday that he absolutely loves me just the same with short hair. This has really helped me love myself.

The best part about having short hair is the ease! I literally only use water, gel and oil on my hair. It takes between 2 and 5 minutes to do my hair so I can sleep more now. I've saved hundreds of dollars because I only need to go to the salon for a trim every 4 months. There are so many great things that came out of this haircut and the only thing I wish is that I cut my hair sooner.

In conclusion, my blog will document my experiences growing out my natural hair, learning to love my afro, different hairstyles I wear, the products I use, questions I have, lessons I've learned and basically anything and everything relating to my beautiful hair. Enjoy!

I hate shrinkage!!!! How to embrace & combat it without damaging your curls - April 13, 2013

[ Serious Shrinkage ]



Shrinkage has got to be the most annoying part of being natural and the most difficult thing to embrace too! Your hair's natural tendency to curl and coil up close to your head makes your locks look way shorter than they actually are! Ugh! Since I've gone natural, I've truly learned to love my kinky-curly texture, my curl pattern and everything that has come with my Afro. But that darn shrinkage!!!

My hair looks like a 2 inch Afro but if I were to stretch out the curls from their super springyness with my signature water/gel/creme mixture, my hair is about 4 inches! How deceiving!!! But wait! This is precisely why being natural is so amazing! The twists and turns of curls and their unexpected behaviours really teach you how to wholly love your hair in all it's entirety! And yes, you can actually combat shrinkage! It is important to remember that your hair will most likely listen to you if you treat it with gentle love and care, and refrain from trying to manipulate it!

There are many ways to combat shrinkage without damaging your hair. I've noticed that when I pull the sides of my hair back to create my favourite faux hawk style, these parts of my hair stretch and stay stretched for awhile! So smoothing some water/gel/creme on your hair and gently bobby pinning the lengths of hair across your head is one way to stretch out your curls. The most popular ways to stretch your hair are braiding or twisting your hair while wet and then releasing the braids/twists when they're dry! This is a foolproof way to gain length while maintaining and enhancing your natural curl pattern. Another way to combat shrinkage is to band your hair. This typically works best with hair that is shoulder length or longer but can work with any length longer than 1 inch. You simply prepare your hair with water/gel/creme and then secure small sections with elastic bands to make tiny ponytails. Use 2-5 elastics depending on the length of your hair. After your hair sets/dries, it should be nicely stretched. Some people also apply heat to stretch out their curls. For absolute naturalistas, this may not be appealing. However, for those who are interested, it is important to properly protect your natural hair when you are using heat! Make sure your hair is moisturized and apply a heat guard or oil before using heat. Next, you want to focus on the roots of your hair so aim the heat there and gently stretch the roots using a wide tooth comb and a dryer on a low, warm setting.

Knowing how to combat that pesky shrinkage is a great tool but the best and healthiest thing to do is to learn to love your hair, shrinkage and all! Once your hair reaches a certain length, shrinkage won't bother you as much! Remember to always treat your hair with love and respect as you would a person and it'll listen to you!

Cleaning Out Your (product) Closet: Knowing which products to love and leave - April 9, 2013

[ All I Need: Gel, Water, Oil ]

I know what your bathroom cupboard looks like. Really, I do! Bottles and bottles and bottles of half used, unused, unopened and untouched products. Mine looks pretty similar and it begs me to ask the question, why are we such product hoarders?!

Simple. We believe every single commercial out there promising a hair product that will give us long, shiny, volumous, frizz free curls, pin straight hair or all of the above. We believe that we will achieve the exact same hair as the women in those commercials even though they are most likely airbrushed, photoshopped, wearing hair extensions, and most definitely completely different from us. I assure you that you will never achieve the same qualities as the women in those commercials and ads unless you already possess them. And you really don't want the same anything as them anyway because who wants hair that is so shiny and "perfect" that it doesn't move or feels hard as rock? Not me!

So, the only way you'll achieve overall healthy hair is by using the right products, which aren't the ones advertised! Say what?! Yup, your best bet is to purchase and use products that are "natural" meaning made from natural, planted or earth derived ingredients and are suitable for your specific hair type and texture. Everyone's hair is different so it makes no sense to use products that are made to satisfy "all" hair types because obviously they won't work. Talking from experience, I know what it's like to purchase a product just because it worked for a friend and you hope it'll work for you or because it "looked" cool or the commercial hypnotized you. I have a bunch of products from different brands under my sink that didn't do anything except create a soap wonderland in my shower and dry out my hair. I have random products from salons that claimed this or that. I have product samples that I received from different people and places. Some are half used, unused or unopened but all are useless!!!

I am an advocate for natural products seeing as I have hair in its natural state! Products that are made for "all hair types" won't work in your natural hair because there are a ton of "bad" stuff put in them in order to "satisfy" all hair types. Remember, each hair type and texture is different and needs different ingredients. For example, people with straight and wavy hair usually need or use water-heavy products and people with curly and kinky hair usually need products with oils. However, some people with curly hair prefer rich, water based products. The point is, each head of hair has different needs! This is the first thing to finding the right products! You want your products to be for YOUR HAIR! How do you know if the product is for your hair? Firstly, it'll be sold exclusively in "natural hair and skin care" boutiques. The bottles will also say "free of parabens, sulphates, chemicals etc." and list ALL the ingredients. You want your product to have as little ingredients as possible, only the "good" stuff. "Good" means only what your hair needs to be healthy like moisture (water), protein (Shea butter, aloe vera) and oils (natural oils like coconut, lavender, jojoba, sweet almond). Your hair can do without the extra stuff like volumizers, and ingredients that promise shine, lift and/or length etc. Your hair will shine if it's healthy and you can encourage shine by using various oils. Other amazing natural ingredients include avocado, pineapple extract, vanilla and milk protein. Again, all healthy and natural ingredients.

So, remember that your products should be for your specific hair type and texture and include natural ingredients not chemicals.

Another factor that comes into purchasing products is the price. Typically, natural hair products aren't cheap which is why most people succumb to buying the inexpensive drugstore products. However, I think of natural hair care products as investments. These actually work and are good for your hair. I paid between $20 and $30 for each of my products and I have about 4 different ones. It may seem expensive but they have lasted me since January of this year and will most definitely continue last until the end of the summer. You can also visit my favorite store, Honey Fig (http://www.honeyfig.com/en/) and ask for samples of certain products if you don't want to commit or spend the money right away. Another thing about natural products and hair is that you learn to reduce the amount of things you do to and put in your hair. You don't need to use a lot of any product to begin with, so the products last!

Manipulating Your Natural Hair Texture: The healthy way! - April 6, 2013

[ Afro styled with sweet almond oil ]

[ Fauxhawk styled with water, Kinky-Curly styling gel, sweet almond oil & bobby pins ]

I'm sure every curly hair girl has wished she had a different curl pattern, either in general or for a particular style. I mean, most of us practically spent our whole lives longing for pin straight hair so of course we'd still be envious, even of other curly headed chicks. Sigh. These wishes and envies are all normal but I want to encourage you not to damage your hair in the process of achieving another curl pattern all for the sake of a hairstyle.

In the last few months, I've learned that my hair can take on various curl patterns depending on how I style it, and so can yours! It's important to know what your hair likes to do and what it doesn't like to do to ensure that your are manipulating your curls in the healthiest way possible! It only takes a few products and tools.

My natural hair texture is made up of super tight, defined spirals, also known as kinky-curly. My shrinkage is crazy (I'm still trying to embrace that) and so my hair looks 3/4 inches but it's probably about 5/6 in length when stretched. My hair is prone to ALOT of frizz which makes it look kinky and obviously frizzy, but my curls are actually really, really defined when styled properly.

The beginning of my styling regime "cycle" will usually include a wash and go style and then I'll do a few different styles within the week as my curls loosen and "frizz out". When I want to achieve a super defined wash and go look, I have to make sure I lock in moisture. When my hair is still soaking wet from my wash or co-wash, I apply my moisturizing Lush Butter rich creme and then my Kinky-Curly styling gel, in smoothing strokes on small to medium sized sections of my hair. This ensures that the moisture is being contained all over, my curls are being stretched and smoothed, and that evil frizz is being eliminated. I can choose to lightly dry my hair with a diffuser on a low, cool heat to set the gel or I can let my hair hair dry. This routine gives me super defined, thick (or "juicy" as I call them) spiral curls.

The day after my wash and go, I may spray some water on my hair to reactivate the gel and define the curls or I'll leave it as is. As the week goes on, my hair will become less defined and start to separate into kinkier curls and frizz is very visible. When this happens, I can style my hair in many ways. For the rest of the week, regardless of the style I'm trying to achieve, I'll spray my whole head with water and then smooth either my Lush Butter rich creme or my water based Super Curl moisturizing creme all over. This combination helps stretch and define my curls with the necessary moisture. I mostly focus on the curls around the perimeter of my hair, like the front and sides.

If I'm doing a Faux Hawk style (second photo), I'll slick the sides back with gel and add bobby pins on each side. I'll mix water and gel and smooth out or scrunch the front portion so it's defined, shiny and kind of "hangs" in front of my forehead. Voila! If I'm doing the Faux Headband style, I will make sure the front is defined with water, gel and or my Lush Butter rich creme. Then, I'll pull back sections and bobby pin them so they form a fake, invisible headband around my head. I fluff out the front and done! Sometimes, I pull one side back or I'll pin my "bangs" to the side. I follow the same steps. I'll add water to my hair, smooth on some gel or rich creme and bobby pin the sections.
By the end of the week, my hair's "loose" but there are still defined curls all over (first photo). I can achieve a bigger Afro by applying my sweet almond oil to small sections of my hair, smoothing it in onto the strands and massaging my head. After that's all done, my hair has reached new heights and I can rock an Afro of looser curls. They are still spirals but looser and softer.

Some other styles you can attempt are really big, volumous, loose curls by roller setting your curls. You simply complete your regular washing or co-washing routine. Then smooth a water + product combo to your hair and wrap and secure small sections around flexi-rods or straws of your desired size. After your whole head dries, you release your hair from the rods or straws, apply a moisturizing creme and style as wanted. Two other ways to alter your curl pattern include the infamous twist outs and braid outs!
Following the same prepping routine, you part your hair into sections (the size depends on how big or small you want your curls). You twist or braid each section. Make sure your hair is damp or wet with water and product before you twist or braid. Let your hair fully dry before releasing the twists or braids. Apply a moisturizing product afterwards and style as necessary.

Remember, your are not "stuck" with a certain curl pattern or hairstyle! There are so many things to do with curly hair! I'm having a really fun time experimenting with different curls and styles. Don't put yourself in a boring box! Use the products and tools you already have and a bit of inspiration from my favourite black hair blogs, Black Girls Long Hair or Black Girls Real Hair to add excitement to your curl rut. Also, if you ever see someone with a wicked hairstyle, don't be afraid to ask them how they achieved it. We're all in this natural hair game together!

Making the Cut & Changing Hairstyles: It's my hair not my arm! - April 6, 2013

I've learned so much since I went natural, but I've also developed so many unanswered questions!

Let's talk about cutting or simply changing our hair. Why is it such a big deal when a black girl wants to cut her hair? It's never a negative thing when a girl from any other race decides to change her hair or when a black male wants to trade in his long braids or huge Afro for a shorter cut. There are so many reasons someone would want to cut, color or change the style of their hair and it shouldn't become the centre of everyone's daily conversation!

It's been a huge mixed message mess in terms of black women's hair to begin with. Initially, we are taught that our natural hair texture isn't appropriate or pretty and to essentially do everything to change the texture. So, we conform to the crazy beauty standards of super straight, super long (and typically artificial) hair. But then when we want to either embrace our true selves or try something new, we are shunned for taking risks or changing at all or, God forbid, choosing curly hair over straight hair. I want to emphasize that it's important to remember that it's JUST HAIR. Simply a longer and maybe thicker version of what's on your arms, legs and elsewhere. It's dead for pete's sake!!! It shouldn't be treated as this sacred entity that should never ever be altered. It shouldn't be sheltered from change or experiments. Change is good don't you see? It's also crazy to hear about the stereotypes that come along with the different textures and lengths of hair. I mean, as a society, we have to have better things to do than to compare a girl with short hair to a girl with long hair or to assume that a girl with short is suddenly more professional because she has a chin length asymmetrical bob. Come on, really?

When I first entertained the idea of cutting my hair short, all everyone would say was, "Why?! Your hair's so long!" or "It's going to take forever to grow back!" Constant discouragement over something men do almost every week or so, discouragement for something that doesn't really involve them at all. You'd think I said I was going to cut my arm off!!! And that's where the importance of hair comes in and the varying views on what "hair" means to different people.

Some people are taught from birth to embrace their natural beauty, hair, skin, body shape and all. In this instance, hair is seen as a crown. A women's crowning glory, something to be respected, cherished and taken care of as if it were a person.
Some people see hair has a nuisance. Something unwanted to deal with, especially if it's not the texture, length or colour that they want. People who view hair as this unexciting "thing" are probably either not going to experiment much with different styles and pretend it doesn't exist or alter its appearance to hide what they see as ugly or unacceptable.
Some people see hair as an accessory, just like a pair of sunglasses or an armful of bracelets and embrace change far and beyond. These people are wide open to change and will probably dye, cut and continuously style their hair depending on the look they're going for.

Depending on how you view hair in general and your own hair, your reaction to cutting or changing your hair or someone else cutting or changing their hair is going to vary.
Either way, change in hair should be considered an exciting journey to learn about hair care and new styles. It's also important to respect the people who do change their hair because it may have been hard for them! Like me! Going from waist length, sun lightened, bone straight hair to a 3 inch, kinky-curly Afro was no easy feat. But in the end, the change was MY choice and I'm still alive...with both arms! Hehe!

Hair Growth: Not just a "mixed" girl thing! - April 2, 2013

I'm warning you readers in advance that I go on a total rampage here! Thanks for reading :)

Everyone's been commenting on how fast my hair has grown since I cut it in January so I'll give u my "secret". I HAVE NO SECRET!!! Was that a waste of your time?! Honestly, I love breaking stereotypes especially ones that make no logical sense.
Everyone's hair grows unless you're experiencing hair loss from age, damage or a severe breakage condition. Everyone's hair grows anywhere between half an inch and one and a half inches every month. The amount it grows varies depending on YOUR individual hair, your genes and how you take care of it!

The reason why people assume that all black girls' hair doesn't grow is because a lot of black girls have really short or really damaged hair and wear weaves and extensions to cover it but it's not because it's not physically growing, it's just not getting the chance to grow HEALTHY. Hair, no matter the texture, won't grow healthy if it's constantly styled with heat, roughly combed, braided too tight, not washed properly, not moisturized...the list goes on. And I guarantee that these girls are doing some or all of these things to their hair that is stunting the growth. This is not to say that a girl from another race wouldn't experience the same damage and stunt in hair growth because she would! What do you think split ends are from? Damage! Constant heat! Not trimming! Also, how/why do you black MALES are able to grow huge Afros, have long braids or why their fresh haircuts never last long? Because their hair grows because they take care of it!

I also want to bring light to a stereotype that so-called "mixed" girls always have nice, curly, frizz-free, LONG hair just because they have white, Asian, Indian or all three in them. This is not accurate. I've seen many "mixed" girls (white and black, Asian and black, black and Indian, black and Spanish, etc) with either very short, visibly damaged hair or both. Proof that the HEALTH of your hair has nothing to do with your race. It is true, however, that your race and ancestry can impact the texture (straight, wavy, curly, kinky or a mixture of these) of your hair. For example, my family has Portuguese and Native Indian in us. We can definitely say that my grandmother, my mother and my little cousins' hair have more of a silkier, Indian texture than a kinky-curly texture and that my hair, though it can look kinky-curly at times, is actually described as "coolie" or Indian textured hair because my curls are very defined. But again, we're describing the impact race has on my TEXTURE not the health of my hair.

Back to the average growth rate per month, this depends on GENES not RACE. Some people naturally have hair that grows faster than others because of their genes. Not everyone's hair grows FAST but everyone's hair grows!!! I now know that my hair grows about 1 inch every month, so since I cut it in January, my hair has grown 3 inches (I started off with about 1 inch). This is simply the growth rate of MY hair and shouldn't be compared to anyone else's hair or used to categorize me as "mixed" or stereotype other "mixed" girls, seeing as scientifically, everyone is "mixed" with something.

Long story short, your hair will grow if you take care of it and the best way to do so is to embrace its natural texture or at least properly prepare it for when you're going to alter the texture (like applying a heat guard creme before you straighten or curl it with an iron, etc). The main and most important reasons as to why my hair is growing is because I have taken the utmost pride and joy in treating my hair with respect by embracing its natural texture (kinky-curly). It didn't happen overnight and it wasn't easy but I've settled into a flexible yet stable routine that works for ME and only ME. After 7 months of transitioning (aka leaving the flat iron and chemicals behind), I found the right products (super rich moisturizing shampoos, conditioners and cremes because my thick hair likes/needs that), the right routine (washing or co-washing my hair once a week) and listening to my hair (knowing when to let it do its thing). I go for a trim every 3-4 months (if you don't damage your ends, you won't need to trim as often). I apply a rich creme or oil all over my hair and massage my head every few days. I also always sleep with a silk hair wrap every night to avoid breakage and dryness.

But if you look at the skeleton of my hair care regime, you'll find that I simply:
•use the right products
•wash and condition my hair often
•trim when necessary
•give it moisture and protein (from washing, conditioning and appropriate styling products)
•protect it from harsh elements

These HAVE to be the most basic steps in taking care for your hair and everyone should be following these steps anyway!!! In that, I can compare our hair to a plant or even a human! Just like plants and humans, our hair needs water, protein (from products), limited heat (deep conditioning/hot oil treatments), protection, love, care and patience!!! Wow, we just found the solution to the most puzzling puzzle of all eh?!

So, in closing, no my hair doesn't grow/grow fast simply because I'm assumed to be so-called "mixed" with white, asian or Indian and no it doesn't grow simply because I'm "light skin". It grows because my hair has a 1 inch per month growth rate, I've embraced my natural hair texture and I follow a simple regime that provides my hair with what it needs to be simply healthy.