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| [ Photo 1: My boyfriend & I, hours after I completed the Big Chop - January 2013 Photo 2: My hair in a fauxhawk style - May 2013 ] |
I have to say, I don't care what people say but my boyfriend's opinion matters SO much to me only because his thoughts & opinions of me are always so outstandingly positive & up-lifting. When I cut my hair, I loved it yes, but I had to get used to it. My boyfriend loved my short, one-inch Afro of kinky-curly spirals from day one and continues to love my hair as it grows. That means a lot to me. I hear so many stories of people who want to embrace change but their partner is against it, simply doesn't support it, expresses negative thoughts about it or doesn't care enough to have an opinion. I'm very blessed to have a boyfriend who supported me from the moment I decided to cut my hair, was and is genuinely curious about my hair, its texture and everything about it, continues to compliment me whenever I try a new hairstyle and most importantly, loves me just the same as before. I'm truly blessed that he values what's on the inside instead of my physical appearance. In the beginning, I sometimes felt weird standing beside a girl with super long or silky straight hair but he's made me feel so beautiful in my skin and within myself, that I don't have any thoughts or doubts about my beauty or short hair anymore.
To a non-black person, black hair may seem pretty foreign. But nobody should feel ashamed about not knowing much about someone's culture, let alone hair texture. I had to educate my boyfriend about the different textures of African-American hair, the important factors of taking care of curly hair, my routines...the list goes on. But he accepted it all and even had many questions of his own about my hair. It's been such a process and progress for us, travelling on this hair journey TOGETHER and the incredible bond we have with everything makes it easier to go through this specific journey.
My boyfriend always has sweet things to say about my hair! I'm very grateful that I don't have to dig for compliments, wonder what he's thinking or bare negative comments. People will always have something negative (not necessarily mean but not positive) to say and I've heard plenty of opinions since I've cut my hair. People ask me why I did it, if I like it, they say that they liked me better with longer hair; opinions that I never really asked for but had to listen to anyway. People stare in general but when I cut my hair and had a tiny Afro, you best believe they were staring even more! I only really got positive feedback from my parents, other family members, close friends and my boyfriend. But in the end, only their opinions matter. This has been a crazy hair journey of ups and downs, frustration, dehydration (my hair lol), impatience, and he's made it all so much better and easier.
Just a few days ago, he said, "I almost don't want you to grow your Afro out because I really like the length that it's at right now. It shows off your face so much, I can really see the features of your beautiful face and I love the different styles you wear. I love your curls, how there's always random defined curls amongst the craziness and it's so soft, like really soft." That almost made me cry; I mean the man went on a happy tirade about my hair! It felt so good and reassured me that he will be here no matter what I do to my hair and support me through whatever decision I make. This is apparent because through something so simple, like cutting my hair, he has showed me his undying love, respect, appreciation and acceptance of me, who am I am and of course, my hair.
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