Don't Touch My Hair: Boundaries and respect when it comes to hair - April 21, 2013

Don't Touch My Hair: Boundaries and respect when it comes to hair - April 21, 13

Ask before you touch something if it's not yours! This may sound like simple common courtesy but you'd be surprised at how many people emulate the actions of a little kid. You know how little kids are! They want to touch EVERYTHING, they rarely ask and they have zero regard for the word "no". Sounds harsh but it's true.

Just like any other thing or object, hair is the possession and property of whoever's head it's on! Just like a person wouldn't go up to a complete stranger and randomly touch their arm, leg or face, people shouldn't randomly touch your hair. Though I haven't experienced this act of ignorance in awhile, I went through torture when I was younger. People from all walks of life always assumed my long, chemically relaxed hair was weave or extensions, so they'd take it upon themselves to touch it, pull on it, examine it without my permission or ask after the fact. I don't know what gave them the idea that this was acceptable but it seemed to be normal. The most common incident during my high school years would be someone touching, grabbing or pulling my hair and asking of it was "real" or "all mine". None of that concerns another individual other than me! It's my head, my hair and if I so happen to wear weave or extensions, that's MY issue! I would become so furious. It was so annoying and happened so often that the odd times when my own mother would touch my hair, I'd get upset with her and yell, "don't touch my hair!!!" She would look at me as if I was crazy. But those experiences, of acquaintances and even friends being that close to you and touching what is known to be your "crown", can scar you. You become super protective of your hair/head and you don't want ANYONE touching it.

The main thing about someone's hair is that it's connected to their head. A lot of people are protective of their heads, and this is normal. People need to respect other people's bodies, body parts, personal space and feelings. If you are curious about someone, be it their hair, shoes etc., simply ask their permission if you want to touch whatever it is. This isn't an exhibit and we are not zoo animals. I mean, I don't know what's better or worse; people staring at my kinky-curly Afro or people asking to touch it but I much rather be apart of the decision to let them or not let them get close to me or touch me. But people rarely put themselves in other people's shoes. What if I came over and just yanked on your hair? I'm sure there would be a fight or at least an argument. That's plain disrespectful. I don't want strangers, people I don't know or like or even some of my friends randomly touching me. I don't know where your hands have been in the last hour and would prefer that my clean hair stay clean. I also don't know what your feeling or searching for. Hair is hair, whether it's straight, curly, long, short, real or not real.

The bottom line is that there needs to be a level of respect when it comes to someone's personal property; this includes their hair. Think about how the other person will feel about you touching them and also think about how you'd feel of someone did the same thing to you, your kids, your dog etc. As for me, I can't promise that I'll let you touch my hair even if you do ask but I'd much more appreciate you and consider the idea a tad longer if you take the time to ask ME if you can touch ME.