Quick & Easy Curl Definition - Oct. 18, 2013

I'm sure almost every curly girl has heard of Individual Finger Coiling/Twirling/Doodling, but what exactly does that mean? Well, it's a trick that curly girls use; when one (foolishly) takes the time to tirelessly define each and every curl on her head. Now, I say "foolishly" because I think us naturals are way too hung up on definition. The nature of the beast (curly hair) IS imperfection, difference in length, frizz, craziness! We who bear Afros are meant to look like lions! However, that being said, I know what it's like to want a defined look or a beautiful wash and go hairstyle. So, I'll dish out my simple tips for getting QUICK & EASY curl definition on wet or dry hair with limited products and tools.

(On wet hair - in the shower or using a spray bottle with water)

I discovered this easy method one day when I didn't have much time to get ready & do my hair. This is a great way to achieve a wash and go look without spending much time. I can complete this process in about 30 minutes.

• Wet your hair thoroughly with water
• Apply a conditioner all over your hair in medium sized sections
• Instead of washing the conditioner out completely, wet your hair again & squeeze the excess water & conditioner out in a scrunching motion
• Use a towel turban or cotton t-shirt to soak up extra water
• Put on your hair accessories at this point (headbands, bows, bobby pins)
• Use a blow dryer with or without a diffuser attachment, put it on low cool heat and aim it at your hair for a few minutes to speed up the drying process and enhance the curls

(On Dry Hair)

This method is great when you want to do a faux-hawk or up-do hairstyle and want definition but don't necessarily need definition everywhere. I can complete this process in about 15 minutes.

• Mix water and a moisturizing hair butter together and apply all over your hair
• Define the front, sides and back of your hair by sectioning the hair using the hair butter and coiling strands around your fingers
• Style hair as necessary

These methods are both easy and fast. You too can get beautiful definition without coiling every single strand on your head. To summarize, all you need are:

• A multipurpose leave-in/rinse out conditioner
• Blow dryer
• Hair butter

Me, my fro & I: Black and Kinky Speaks - Oct. 15, 2013

Hey everyone! I know I've been MIA for awhile but I'm thoroughly enjoying my life with my fiance and am currently in the Northwest Territories, Canada with his family. No, I'm not crazy! As promised, I will be documenting my new experiences of having kinky-curly hair in a cold place, the changes I need to make to my hair routine and the things I will learn adjusting to a new community. In this entry, I dish out tips to help you become or remain a confident curly girl, a frotastic femme, a kinky-curly chica in this cruel, cruel hair world. Warning: I am blunt but not intentionally mean. I've also been away from my blog for a bit too so here goes another one of my signature long rants. Enjoy!

Something I've learned while having natural hair is that how you feel is directly linked to how you act. Confidence seeps through your body & every move is laced with vibrancy & energy. You feel daring & try out many different hairstyles. Sometimes you don't even comb your hair or put product in it. You wear your curls wild & free. You may even colour your hair or get a funky cut. Self-doubt, on the other hand, wraps around you & hinders you from many things like trying on that sexy dress or saying hi to that super cute guy or truly embracing the twists & turns of your curly hair. You may wear headscarves all the time. You may dread wash day. You may resort to wearing protective styles or weaves because you can't accept the nature of the beast. I found that focusing on me & how I want to look really helps me rise above the confusion, negativity & weird stereotypes that still surrounds black hair. Focusing on myself helps me stay content with my Afro, my current hair length & steers me away from lifelessly clicking YouTube channel after YouTube channel, wishing & wanting other people's long, curly hair (no offence to those who do that).

CURL CRUSHES: Don't have curl crushes or curl idols if all you're going to do is wish for their hair. Your hair is not like theirs; no two heads of hair are alike! Your hair will never look like their hair. Now that that's said, pick curl crushes with SIMILAR curl patterns & hair lengths so you can actually accurately use them as idols & inspirations. I strongly discourage having a hair idol who has hair that you want. I think it's poison. Find someone who has similar hair & grow with them. For example, I would never use Tracey Ellis Ross as my hair idol. She has 3B curls, I have 4A curls. Her hair is super long, my hair is still in it's awkward Afro stage. I would, however, use @candiishoppe [on Instagram] as my idol because even though her hair is still in the TWA stage, her curl pattern is quite similar to mine & we even use the same gel as our styling product. Makes sense right!

EVERYTHING ISN'T ALWAYS WHAT IT SEEMS: Don't believe every curly hair blog, YouTube video, interview or spoken word that you see or hear. There is so much information out there, especially on the internet & we really don't know what is true or not. Your best bet is to go to a store or salon that specializes in black hair products for accurate information. Also, try reaching out to bloggers, authors, hair stylists and/or consultants. I'm currently emailing a girl who I'm following on Instagram (shout out to @pina_curlada). We have different curl types, hair textures & lengths but she has helped me understand curly hair in a different way, we recommend products to each other & we share tips & tricks. It's a great & easy way to make a new curlfriend & get valuable information! Hair blog, Black Girls Long Hair is also a great source to get curly girls' twitter, Instagram & website information so that you can contact them directly.

BE READY: Going natural isn't easy! However, you should do it for the right reasons! Your natural hair journey is or should be, more than about your hair! I've changed my whole lifestyle along with how I wear my hair. I'm working on living a healthier life. I have created such a positive place for myself, mentally & physically. I try to use all natural hair, skin & body products. Your hair journey should be more than just about changing your hair & wearing it natural. It's about embracing ALL of you, they way you were born & how you were meant to look. If you have thin skin, a weak mind or low self-esteem, you should really re-think going natural until you have gained the confidence. Yes, going natural is about personal growth but if you're not ready for the fire before it happens, you may just go back to the creamy crack [relaxer or texturizer]. People are going to stare, people are going to ask ignorant & redundant questions & you will feel like an alien. But, people will also love your courage & natural beauty, people will be inspired, people will respect your choice & people will compliment you. It all depends on how you choose to approach the journey. Will you be ready?

LISTEN: Listen to your hair. Yes, your hair talks & tells you things! If your hair is thin & prone to breakage & is showing you this by piling up in clumps on the floor, don't go & straighten or colour it 3 months into your natural hair journey. If your hair doesn't like being washed every week, wash your hair less! If your hair doesn't like certain ingredients, don't torture it! You have to listen to your hair if you want strong, healthy curls!

YOUR CIRCLE: Surround yourself with positive people who ACCEPT, LOVE & ENCOURAGE your decision to go natural. You'll do yourself a real disservice if you hang around people who don't accept natural hair. Now, I'm not saying you can't be friends with girls with relaxed hair or girls who've worn weave their whole life or guys who only like long, straight hair, but if they're going to try to convince you to revert or if they're going to make fun of you, you need to find yourself some new friends. End of story. The great thing about this natural hair community is that natural hair isn't new. There are tons of naturalistas out there & you're bound to know a few already! There are also tons of undercover naturals too! During my transition period & throughout my journey, I had plenty of friends who wore their hair natural & one girl in particular (shout out to my homegirl @neitaa_) who cut her hair around the exact same time as I did! I had a natural hair buddy & we were going through the journey together. It's great! Also, if you have family who aren't supportive, you need to set them straight (or curly haha) as soon as possible. When I told my mom, who is relaxed, that I was going to cut off my hair, I really felt like she was trying to convince me not to. It's important to make your friends & family understand exactly why you're doing this & make their ears hurt with the words: this is MY decision.

ALL IN: If you're going to "do this natural thing", do it right! Research about your hair type & texture. Research products. Do YOU & do things for yourself. It helps that I work at a natural hair product store but I spend my spare time reading up on products, familiarizing myself with ingredients, taking samples home & trying stuff out. I rarely purchase products just because someone said it worked for them or even because of what the label says. You have to find stuff out for yourself. I purchase products only after testing them out, comparing them to others & thinking about the price. I'm extremely cautious of spending money on products when I can get the same results from a cheaper version. My conditioner, Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner is amazing, lasts for at least 6 months or more & costs $20. The whole package! Also, when I find something that works, I stick with it. I have stocked up on that same conditioner. Yes, I try new things but I don't exclude the products that my hair loves. Be as involved in your hair as you can! Know what works & doesn't work & don't expect to have it all figured out in the first year. I've said it before & I'll say it again, I talk to my hair. Love it as if it's another person. If you love it, it'll love you back by looking fabulous!

BABY STEPS: Before you go & colour your raven coloured tresses, get a funky asymmetrical cut, straighten your curls or do anything equally dramatic, make sure a) your hair is in good condition, b) you obtain all the information you need to move forward, c) think about it long & hard & don't make an irrational decision. Altering your hair's natural colour or texture will result in dryness no matter the process, chemical or chemical-free. All the above changes will mean your hair needs extra care & attention, especially extra moisture. Be sure you know what you're doing or get a professional to walk you through the process.

Natural hair & going natural may seem like a science but it's just an accumulation of information that you need to remember to be able to grow strong, healthy curls. I've been saying this all along: everyone can grow long, luscious curls! Remember, simplicity is extremely important. Using 3 different gels isn't necessary or even healthy for your hair just as using all these different protein treatments isn't necessary either! Research as much as you can but be aware of the information you're taking in. Use this hair & lifestyle change to really get to know yourself, your hair & who you were meant to be!

Even though my journey has been short compared to some naturalistas, I've learned a lot in 9 months. Many of these lessons came from working at Honey Fig, some came from the natural hair blogs or Instagrammers I've been following but some have also come from my own experimentations & experiences. The following are some tips & tricks that may or may not help you but have helped me. Enjoy!

•PREVENT FRIZZ: After washing or conditioning, don't use a towel at all. I find that even a micro fibre towel dries my hair too much & causes frizz. Put one or two shower caps on your head, followed by a towel turban or regular towel. This will stop your hair from dropping everywhere but won't dry it up.

•TREATMENT: Mixing oils are a great way for maximum pre-poo treatments (I use Jojoba oil & Sweet Almond oil together).

•DETANGLING: Mixing your detangler (I use Kinky-Curly Knot Today) and rinse out conditioner (I use Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner) adds extra slip, softness & makes detangling an absolute breeze.

•EASY APPLICATION: Put your daily leave-in conditioner into a spray bottle for easier application. This is great especially for curlfriends with thick Afros as the nozzle gets the product all over the hair.

•PRODUCT APPLICATION: After shampooing or conditioning, apply your hair products to damp NOT soaking wet hair. The product will be absorbed more & you'll be able to smooth it through instead of ending up with sopping wet hands & wasted product.

•USING OIL: When you apply oil, don't be lazy! Do this before bed to help relax your head. Really massage the oil (gently) into your scalp and spread it root to ends. This will help with hair growth & proper distribution.

•DON'T BE LAZY: On the days when you're not styling with gel, apply a hair butter to your ends. On wet hair, apply a little extra leave-in conditioner to the ends. On dry hair, apply the butter from root to ends.

I'll be adding more to this list so stay tuned! Happy reading! :)

The good, the bad, the ugly & the ridiculous questions - August 21, 2013



[ Faux-hawk using leave-in conditioner, light styling gel & bobby pins ]

A big part of accepting black hair is letting go of all the stereotypes, assumptions & pure foolishness (my Caribbean readers would like that term haha) that surround Afro-American hair. I'm more than happy with the positive feedback regarding my hair that I've been getting while working at Honey Fig. However, there's always going to be those people who are ignorant or simply don't know how their words affect people. Now, I'm a pretty darn confident person but certain comments still make me wonder & sometimes even cause turmoil inside my mind. For example, whenever I do a wash & go or even on second or third day hair, customers are always asking me, "how do you get your hair so curly"? Huh?! I pray & hope that people know by now that curly hair doesn't "get" or "go" curly; it already IS curly!And I don't have a secret at all! My hair is NATURALLY CURLY. It doesn't "curl", I don't need to "curl" it, it is already curly! I don't have to do anything to my hair other than maintain or enhance the curl pattern that is growing out of my head!

Something that I've been trying to reiterate this whole time is that my hair regime is super simple when you break it down. I shampoo my hair once a week, condition very frequently, apply moisturizing creams every few days, protect at night time & show my fro real love & patience; nothing too different from what you all should be doing! The main difference is that my curl pattern is different. Different curls need different products. Every head of hair is completely unique! I think a lot of people look at other people's hair & think theirs should look the same, which is impossible because no curly head is alike! If you're going to have hair crushes & idols, make sure they at least have a similar hair type & curl pattern to be able to set realistic & healthy hair goals. Back to my hair regime, I simply use a variety of different styling gels and creams to define & hold my curls but my curls are already curly (haha, had to laugh at that). Once again, words, words, words are so important; they've always been! The way we word our questions, the things we say, the way we say them are all so crucial in how we are understood.

Another thing that will ALWAYS irk me the wrong way (and you'll see this in my older blog entry titled "Hair Growth: Not just a mixed girl thing") is people's assumptions that every coloured girl with beautiful, non-nappy, looser, defined curls is "mixed". I want to address again that hair growth is not related to race but neither is curl pattern!!! You can't logically say that Jamaicans have a specific curl pattern or even that Caucasians all have straight, fine hair because everyone is different & stereotypes don't pertain to everyone from that group! Hair growth is based on your inches per month ratio (anywhere from half an inch to an inch and a half per month; mine is 1 inch per month), your diet & how you take care of your hair. Someone's curl pattern is typically based on genetics but even still, plenty of people have curl patterns different from their parents or anyone in their family. Also, sometimes damage can alter a curl pattern & your styling tricks like braid & twist outs can alter the curls too. These assumptions that only "mixed" people have nice hair is ridiculous because if you really look our family trees, you'll see that everyone is mixed with something. That's how history works and that's how multiculturalism was created. My great grandparents were mixed with Portuguese & my parents are even mixed with Indian (on my mom's side). Just recently, a woman was asking about my curl pattern & said "but you're mixed right?" I said no, I'm black. She said, "oh yeah but I mean there's usually some type of Indian or white in Caribbean people". Now, yes I can agree with this statement because studies have shown that blacks have at least 10-20% Native Indian in them & at least 10-50% of European in them. But her first statement, the assumption that me being mixed is the reason for my curl pattern, is what annoys me deep in my soul! Yes, everyone is mixed if you go back far enough, but there's no RELATION to what I am and my CURL PATTERN. It's like saying all Asians have straight, black hair (which isn't true) or that all Jamaicans have kinky-coily hair (which also isn't true). See how silly that sounds?

In conclusion, as one person, I know I can't change everyone's opinions about natural hair, hair growth, curl patterns and the stereotypes that surround it all. I definitely can't do that in an instant. However, I do believe that as one person, I have the power to be apart of a movement to install a little bit of knowledge and at least enlighten people about natural hair & it's true beauty. Writing out all my feelings really makes me feel better, because this is my form of expression; it always has been.  It also means that my thoughts are now concrete and I can easily share them with the world. I mentioned this when I started my blog and I will mention it again. I started this blog to help make MY natural hair journey less lonely & to express what I learned throughout this roller coaster ride. If I influence ONE person & help that one person, I'm happy. I've already helped myself become a more educated naturalist and that means more to me than anything. Thanks again for reading :)

Black Girl Problems? There's no such thing! - July 30, 2013

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "BLACK GIRL PROBLEMS"!

There is, however, such things like impatience, ignorance & negligence! Let's get some things straight here:
•Yes, there are actual curls under all that frizz. There are beautiful curls under every frizzy fro, you just have to take care of them & define them!
•Yes, you black girls can grow lots of hair & achieve big, full Afros, spiral curls & long length.
•Yes, you actually have to put effort, time & money into your hair if you want it to be healthy & look good.

But for healthy hair, long length & amazing curls to happen, you NEED to:

•STOP wishing you had other people's hair
•STOP using those harmful products that aren't formulated for your hair texture
•STOP using harsh chemicals like dyes & relaxers
•STOP trying to make your hair do something it wasn't meant to do
•STOP being afraid of cutting your hair
•STOP being afraid period!

Comment below or connect with me through Facebook (Black & Kinky: A Hair Journey or Instagram: @blackandkinky) & ask me all your hair related questions

OR

Visit us in-store for your very own, personalized, informative & curl-changing hair consultation! Honey Fig, the natural hair & skin boutique, is located at 4967 Yonge Street, north of Sheppard, at Hollywood Ave.

Let's end off July and begin August with some hair respect and acceptance, and leave all the negativity, assumptions, stereotypes and ignorance behind! Your curls will thank you by looking wonderful! Happy reading y'all!