The good, the bad, the ugly & the ridiculous questions - August 21, 2013



[ Faux-hawk using leave-in conditioner, light styling gel & bobby pins ]

A big part of accepting black hair is letting go of all the stereotypes, assumptions & pure foolishness (my Caribbean readers would like that term haha) that surround Afro-American hair. I'm more than happy with the positive feedback regarding my hair that I've been getting while working at Honey Fig. However, there's always going to be those people who are ignorant or simply don't know how their words affect people. Now, I'm a pretty darn confident person but certain comments still make me wonder & sometimes even cause turmoil inside my mind. For example, whenever I do a wash & go or even on second or third day hair, customers are always asking me, "how do you get your hair so curly"? Huh?! I pray & hope that people know by now that curly hair doesn't "get" or "go" curly; it already IS curly!And I don't have a secret at all! My hair is NATURALLY CURLY. It doesn't "curl", I don't need to "curl" it, it is already curly! I don't have to do anything to my hair other than maintain or enhance the curl pattern that is growing out of my head!

Something that I've been trying to reiterate this whole time is that my hair regime is super simple when you break it down. I shampoo my hair once a week, condition very frequently, apply moisturizing creams every few days, protect at night time & show my fro real love & patience; nothing too different from what you all should be doing! The main difference is that my curl pattern is different. Different curls need different products. Every head of hair is completely unique! I think a lot of people look at other people's hair & think theirs should look the same, which is impossible because no curly head is alike! If you're going to have hair crushes & idols, make sure they at least have a similar hair type & curl pattern to be able to set realistic & healthy hair goals. Back to my hair regime, I simply use a variety of different styling gels and creams to define & hold my curls but my curls are already curly (haha, had to laugh at that). Once again, words, words, words are so important; they've always been! The way we word our questions, the things we say, the way we say them are all so crucial in how we are understood.

Another thing that will ALWAYS irk me the wrong way (and you'll see this in my older blog entry titled "Hair Growth: Not just a mixed girl thing") is people's assumptions that every coloured girl with beautiful, non-nappy, looser, defined curls is "mixed". I want to address again that hair growth is not related to race but neither is curl pattern!!! You can't logically say that Jamaicans have a specific curl pattern or even that Caucasians all have straight, fine hair because everyone is different & stereotypes don't pertain to everyone from that group! Hair growth is based on your inches per month ratio (anywhere from half an inch to an inch and a half per month; mine is 1 inch per month), your diet & how you take care of your hair. Someone's curl pattern is typically based on genetics but even still, plenty of people have curl patterns different from their parents or anyone in their family. Also, sometimes damage can alter a curl pattern & your styling tricks like braid & twist outs can alter the curls too. These assumptions that only "mixed" people have nice hair is ridiculous because if you really look our family trees, you'll see that everyone is mixed with something. That's how history works and that's how multiculturalism was created. My great grandparents were mixed with Portuguese & my parents are even mixed with Indian (on my mom's side). Just recently, a woman was asking about my curl pattern & said "but you're mixed right?" I said no, I'm black. She said, "oh yeah but I mean there's usually some type of Indian or white in Caribbean people". Now, yes I can agree with this statement because studies have shown that blacks have at least 10-20% Native Indian in them & at least 10-50% of European in them. But her first statement, the assumption that me being mixed is the reason for my curl pattern, is what annoys me deep in my soul! Yes, everyone is mixed if you go back far enough, but there's no RELATION to what I am and my CURL PATTERN. It's like saying all Asians have straight, black hair (which isn't true) or that all Jamaicans have kinky-coily hair (which also isn't true). See how silly that sounds?

In conclusion, as one person, I know I can't change everyone's opinions about natural hair, hair growth, curl patterns and the stereotypes that surround it all. I definitely can't do that in an instant. However, I do believe that as one person, I have the power to be apart of a movement to install a little bit of knowledge and at least enlighten people about natural hair & it's true beauty. Writing out all my feelings really makes me feel better, because this is my form of expression; it always has been.  It also means that my thoughts are now concrete and I can easily share them with the world. I mentioned this when I started my blog and I will mention it again. I started this blog to help make MY natural hair journey less lonely & to express what I learned throughout this roller coaster ride. If I influence ONE person & help that one person, I'm happy. I've already helped myself become a more educated naturalist and that means more to me than anything. Thanks again for reading :)